A short question..

In the weekend that just went by, I dragged my husband AND the mil, who is visiting, to my most favourite haunt in Bangalore- Blossoms! And spent a tiny fortune on books. Not surprising considering my love for them. However, this time around, there were some new additions apart from the usual suspects, in the books I bought.

I bought 3 Enid Blyton books for the 8 year old niece- all 3 of which are my favourites. I got her the Faraway Tree collection of stories and the first two books of St.Clares…

Yesterday, my spirits had sunk so low that I really needed a lift. What better book than one written by Enid Blyton? I read the first book of the St.Clare series until midnight…

It has been a little more than a decade since I had revisited these books. All the characters, all their idiosyncracies just seemed to call out to me as I read them.Pat, Isable, Ms.Theobald,Ms.Roberts, Mamzelle- it seemed like I was reading about friends whose habits had never changed over the years. It was like looking at an old, long lost family album. It was like coming home.

Have you ever read a book like that? A book after oh-so-many years? How did it feel? Especially if the book is a childhood-favourite? Was the experience any different?

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writing in..from under a rock.

Hello… How are you all doing? I have been away for so long from this space and the comments space of all the other blogs I visit normally that, it feels alien to even type here.

 

I have no excuses as such for being away- maybe laziness, maybe the fact that I had nothing to say-absolutely nothing, over the past few months.Most of the time was spent on travelling- not necessarily pleasure travelling. More like fulfilling some commitments or the other. I am more tired than rejuvenated from all that travelling.

However, I have read all of your blogs pretty consistently. I just did not comment. Again, I don’t know why- I think I had nothing much to say to anyone. Do I sound depressed? Err, I guess I do- bear with me, people.

Not hearing any good news these days from anywhere. Even reading the paper upsets me. As I was telling E the other day, what world are we willingly bringing children into? A society where people can threaten to throw acid for wearing jeans? One where mobs thrash young girls and boys for having a little fun? A society where a security guard tries to rape and ends up killing a 25 year old woman because she resisted his attempt to rape her?

What place do we live in? Where are we heading? I know this probably sounds like a clichéd rant more than anything else- but, really, I am appalled, hurt and upset at this current state of affairs.

If I am scared for the children of today/tomorrow, I can only imagine the fear lesser privileged sections of society possess.

Sometimes, I just want to live under a rock and surface only when I feel like it.

PS: This post was written yesterday; my mood has not really improved. But I am willing to write about something else- for now.

 

The past month …

I know I have neglected this blog far too much now, what is worse is not only have I neglected the blog I have also altogether neglected commenting on other blogs :O

Well, trust me when I say I have been lurking around all your blogs but shamelessly not commenting citing ” lack of time management” as a reason for it.

I am going to get to that soon but and that is because I have missed you guys a lot. Missed the companionship blogging gave me.

The past month and then some more have not exactly been easy on me. A lot of things happened, to summarize-

• I learnt quite a bit about people management. Wait, doesn’t this sound like regular management faff? No, I really, really mean PEOPLE management. You know, ALL kinds of people- how they react to different situations and how it is best to cover one’s back because else you’ll be left wondering what hit you!
• I got a job. Have been working for a little over a month now- hardly feels that way, feels more like I’ve been adopted by the company 😀 The job was found after a LOT of searching and agonizing over with some of you. I work for a start-up and those of you who have the experience of working in one, will know what I am talking about when I say I barely have time to breathe. Additionally they required that I work 6 days a week (weekend included) for sometime. So, THAT has been maddenning. And yet, I don’t feel the terror grip me as I go to work each day, barely managing a house ( something I never quite attributed to myself, simply because I was too lazy) and managing a job that is as demanding as this one. I just hope I have the energy to run along with this and not give up- reason I say this is it is quite taxing, especially the travel. I change some 3 modes of transport before I reach this workplace. And this kind of travel, in Bangalore, is NOT fun.
• I turned 25 a few days back. A fact I am admitting here wonly. Ask the husband and he will tell you how I have been harping on and on about turning *one*. What? I am one only yah.
• Now, the thing that has been worrying me over the past week- haven’t been keeping well and it has really added quite a bit of tension on to me, the husband, my family, extended family- you get the drift,right? Please keep me in your prayers guys. I’m really hoping it is nothing serious.

Lastly, a very happy new year/vishu to those of you who celebrate! I kept my first-vishu kani in this house and even added a funky looking maavu-kolam before I did that. Happy new year to you and to yours.

 

 

Perspectives

Me: (Exclaiming excitedly at some random couple) Oh look at them, they must be newly married. Oh look at her- her mehendi, those bangles, the thaali( whatever evidence I can see openly,shamelessly). Oh look,look,look,

The husband: hmm, ya( a long,drawn bored ya where the ya is stifling a yawn,almost)

Me: Isn’t she pretty? Isn’t there an indescribable beauty in her face? Aww, look at them together. Don’t they look so wonderful?

The husband:hmmmmmm. ya.

Me: Huh, god – you can’t even react to something so beautiful? I mean how can you not feel ANYTHING looking at them? GOD, I just don’t understand.

The husband: silence.

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The husband : (Extremely excited about something) HEYYYYYYYYYYY! Look,look,look.

Me: (really bored) enna?

The husband: See, new honda city! Wow,looks nice la? Look at the number plate! To be registered ! Doesn’t it look super cool?

Me: silence

Sure enough,  there was a new car just a little ahead of us. I look back at the husband’s face which is filled with almost childlike-glee at spotting it.

Yes, a new car excites us oh-so-much. Even if the new car isn’t ours. 

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polambal…

There are times in my life when the negativity I bring upon myself crowds me SO much that I wish I could run away. From myself.

That is how cowardly I am. I do not feel like standing up to the things bothering me. Do not feel like doing anything about anything.

When I feel the unfairness of everything hits me more than at other times. When I wish for you to live here instead of seven seas across. When I wish for a sibling I could call my own despite your existence.

When I wish to sulk and throw tantrums and act even more immature . When I want to say out loud the dark thoughts that jostle for space in my head. When I want to spell things out to people who refuse to believe in an art called dialogue.

When I want to break hearts. And then break my own thinking about how I have changed. On the shielding and protection I had and how naked I feel now.

When I wish you could read into my head and actually *do* something about it. Instead of talking about it. Sometimes, I don’t want to talk. I just want you to know. I just wish you would act upon it.

There are times I just think how wonderful it would be if there were no expectations. From anyone towards anyone. And of course, that includes me.

 

 

 

monday blues…

To beat my I-am-feeling-so-sorry-for-myself syndrome, here is a list of things I tried/trying –

• Read a LOT of stuff on home decor,a topic which never fails to excite me. I *love* reading about such stuff and telling myself that I am SO going to do this. And that. Only to realize that half the day has been spent in reading only .

    

• This is my current playlist, if you think the songs are a terrible mish-mash-yes, you are right of course! They are an incredible mish mash because that is exactly how I feel currently. Mish-mashy. If you knew tamil, I’d use the word molagutal to indicate my current state. So,onto the songs- Un Uyir Nanban from Kulir 100 Degree, Oh Meri Soni from Yaadon Ki Baraat,TiAmo by GinaG, Run by Leona Lewis, Kanden Kanden from Pirivom Santhipom, Poova Eduthu from Ammam Kozhil Kizhakalle,Poovukellam Siragu from a random Ajit starrer, the name of which I cannot recall,Pani Vizhum Iravu from Mouna Ragam, Karrupinazhuku from a Malayalam movie …

• I finished reading a book that I’d begun a few days back making me realize how little time I seem to give to what is supposedly my primary passion-books. Anyway, since the book ended in a happy way, I felt better than what I did . Yes, I am a sucker for good endings. Does it make a happy camper when it comes to some good,serious books that need not necessarily end the way I want it to? Well, maybe not too happy but, I still love reading for  the language. I enjoy appreciating the way the language is used through the book-sad endings notwithstanding.

 

• Hung my laundry out to dry. Now,before you wonder if I have gone a little mad,here’s the deal- I love putting the clothes out to dry. Think about it, the clothes have this amazing fabric softener smell on them and are not as wet as they would be had they been hand-washed. I love them! I enjoy the practice of carrying the clothes from the machine which is in a small utility room to the balcony. It gives me a sort of satisfaction to see the sun hitting the clothes through the window sills .. Ok,ok I will stop 🙂

• I am willing myself to stop browsing food websites and actually do something. How many of you (of the few who read my blog) like dimsums? I love them. And from the way I gorge on them, it seems I have no fancy preferences of any kind when it comes to dimsums. Reason I say that is because, usually ,when we love something, our standards for that something is very high. It should be this way ONLY is how most of us think. However, I have no shame standards as such when it comes to my favourite Chinese cuisine. Anything and Everything seems to work just fine. Food from the local momos waala-ok,super! Food from Mainland China-Wow,super again! Food from my kitchen- same reaction,ok maybe a little less enthu because cooking usually removes the hunger pangs-I have no idea,why! You get the drift right.

That’s about it -I hope you people had a fun weekend. Have a super week ahead!

 

Small things that made me smile

I have been very busy and ill over the past few days..Ok,ill-more and busy-less.
Have been travelling,caught an awful flu bug that refuses to go away making my voice sound like a very famous ex-CM of Tamil Nadu with a sore throat.

I just thought I’d document somethings that made me smile the past few days to read on some dreary days:

-A very nice executive at Reliance World who made my upto that point screwed-up day much better with his patient hearing and understanding.

-A thank-you from the old lady who was struggling to get down the train with her monstrous bags for my help with her luggage.

-A toothless smile from the incredibly cute niece for every word I speak. I am so thrilled about this blind adoration.

-The husband who had bought a pack of baked chips to the station just because he knew I love to eat gorge on them.

-The aunt who patiently bore my outbursts about life without giving me the “such is life” shit that the progenitor is famous for.

-This girl who sent me a message asking me if all was well since I had practically disappeared for a few days now.

I could go on but I am going to stop here because my throat calls for some gargling(which I cannot do by the way and often ridiculed for by all and sundry.Hmmpf).

Hope all is well with all of you,take care you guys because tis the season of “change in weather”.

Ugh. I abhor that word.